There are ways for us to end this

Speak the words you have swallowed. We have nine years of silence to fill. Let us crowd this night with all we have not said, let us cover every last second with our secrets. Whisper them soft and sure against my skin. Tell me goodbye, and tell me why. Dust me for your fingerprints oneContinue reading “There are ways for us to end this”

Aware

I can’t say when I am first aware of her.  When she stands out from the crush of people I navigate every morning on the way to work. Perhaps it is when I return to a five-day week, when I heal enough to attempt a routine. Once you notice someone, you can’t remember when youContinue reading “Aware”

How we end it

I could never have imagined, one year ago, where we would be now. The first steps leading to the next, and how we all catch up to our ending, eventually. It’s never the big things, Ben. Never a catastrophe that starts it. That’s why they talk of butterflies and their wings. A tiny flutter, aContinue reading “How we end it”

Darkness lets everything in

Should we ever be trusted to tell our own story? I am supposed to tell mine here, let little bits of light into the past 7 years so that others can find what they are looking for. Here, the clues, and here, and here. We are all operating from the same motherboard of wants andContinue reading “Darkness lets everything in”

We have an idea of goodbyes

I am watching the coffee stain my fingers as you lay dying on the gravel. It is a morning of bright blue promise. The breakfast show host is laughing at his own joke and I smile at the television without hearing the punch line.  Next up a story on how most women do not wearContinue reading “We have an idea of goodbyes”