The exact equation

You know what else is funny? How the ache is so strong, you think it will never go away, that something set so deep couldn’t possibly fade. Then later comes along. At some point – later – you no longer feel what you used to feel.  And when you think about what you came through, you can’tContinue reading “The exact equation”

The narrowing of distance

I mean, can you imagine? That a place can feel like a person? That a place can talk and sing, and make you feel that same bubbling under the skin that a lover can when you’re just one corner away from meeting? I love that feeling. That sort of pleasurable terror at what’s to come.Continue reading “The narrowing of distance”

Something small and true

He thinks about it like this. I am a song he can’t quite remember. A melody he used to know, but now he only hears the same fragment, a last clear note hanging in the air, until it turns back on itself, repeats what came before. He knows that he knows. But he can’t getContinue reading “Something small and true”

Where the feeling starts

Look deeper, Sherry would say. Examine where the feeling starts. Am I focusing on your mistakes so that I can avoid the mistakes I have made? Is that what we do – embroil ourselves in other lives, in other failings so that we don’t have to examine our own lives so closely? Sherry wants meContinue reading “Where the feeling starts”

All the things she did

Wrong place, wrong time. Don’t go there. Don’t do that. Skirt’s too short, street’s too dark. How many lovers have you had? Fresh meat. Store’s open. Men will be- Why couldn’t you- Keep your legs- What did you- In my day ladies were didn’t wouldn’t couldn’t. Stack up the bodies. Stack up the limbs andContinue reading “All the things she did”

What I have taken

I don’t know when the idea first occurred to me. To come here. I suppose it could be the stories my mom used to tell me. They must have been lingering around, in that way certain memories might seem forgotten, but really, they’re right there waiting, and some day something or someone happens to pushContinue reading “What I have taken”

What you don’t know

I can see what happens when he looks at you. There is a funny blue light that starts just below his ear. It curves under his jaw and then travels down his neck, out into his chest, where it shoots off in all directions. Like rivers meeting I suppose, but there’s something more electric, theContinue reading “What you don’t know”

The weight of it

I never expected to be happy. Not in the sense that I would have a big, rich life, a red-like-Christmas life, where every day was tinsel and jolly. I only ever wanted to survive my own heart. To find small moments of light in the dark, to live knowing I’d find that light sometimes, evenContinue reading “The weight of it”