When I asked him what he felt about me.
He said so many tiny things I somehow made bigger. If I were to lay these little words out now you’d no doubt see – sooner than me – how little he ever saw of me. See how I clung for years to an autobiography, let him write his narcissistic stories all over me.
I believed myself to be the shore for this man, his brink, his haven.
But this is not what he felt about me.
I’ve been looking for answers the wrong way around it seems. Wondering what I could have should have did not could not-
The truth outs eventually: For years I loved a hollow man. One who wounds with silence and dishonesty.
This was never, ever about me.
Wisdom is hard won. Clarity often requires you search and search and search that rocky shore. You crawl on your hands and knees to find what they buried so deep. Knowledge painfully extracted from the chest.
♥♦ The treasure always, darling, is you ♥♦