I am not supposed to like this woman

I am not supposed to like this woman. I am not supposed to admire her selfishness or her hunger, a greed that has taken to demolishing all that gets in her way. I should hate the destruction she causes, not least of all to herself.  I have been taught to admire women, find my muses and inspiration in acts of strength and independence. Women who fight and march and challenge, not women who fuck and covet and become the object of their own desire.

I am not supposed to like this woman. Not her scheming or her blind faith. The cleavage bearing dresses, the teeth ready to catch his flesh, the way she parades before him. The way she ensures she is every single thing the other is not.

But here is the truth of it.  I have fallen in love with this woman. The way she has emerged from within me, this path she has taken me down is an intoxication, a slow tumbling in to wonderland. My body is awake – god how long was I sleeping? She stares me down from the mirror and I know that I will do anything to make her stay.

I  am not supposed to like this woman at all.