Lying here in the dark without you.
There have been a thousand nights without you. So many sleepless nights counting down from midnight; it was always easier to miss you in the daylight hours. But now the darkness expands into tomorrow. Now the darkness is endless, ahead of me, as well as behind. If I go back too far I will exhaust my memories of you, and I feel a panicked need to preserve them, to ration these memories out, the way someone lost in the wild must approach a depleted supply of food and water.
They say that memories light both the path we have taken, and the path to follow. They say that remembering ensures we look both ways. But all I see now is an abyss. If I reach the beginning of us, here in the dark, I will inevitably come to our end. There will be no new words to decipher, no clumsy mistakes to ponder. There will be no new arguments, or surrender smiles, out there waiting for us.
There is no unchartered territory left to explore, Mack. When I arrive at the point where the beginning resides, I will have mapped our love entirely.
Edits, edits, edits! Love rescuing little bits of prose, and finding that they do fit, after all …