The first time we make love. Is that what we called it? It wasn’t love, perhaps we said fucking. I liked to shock you with words back then, when it was all brand new. You were afraid to say pussy and so I laughed and said cunt, it snapped off my tongue and loosened something in you.

Be anything but polite I told you as I unbuckled your belt. I don’t want polite. Polite is nice and we are not nice people, you and I. We are capable of anything. I watched this concept thrill you, even as you shook your head, no.

Was it calculated, the way I cut your ties that night? The precision with which I unraveled all the little knots? I had figured you out already my love. Your desire for the things you couldn’t reconcile. Your history of women whose marks were kept on the inside when I wore my flaws all over, tattooed across my skin for you to explore.

And you surrendered nice so easily, didn’t you. Using those tattoos as your guideposts.

Yes, we are capable of anything, Mack. But you never did understand nuance. Turns out your fascination with my jagged edges snared us both in the end. I do often think that civility was the first casualty of our affair.

Joanne Piechota photography at body, remember

Published by Eidyia

I am only three things for sure - an Atheist, a Feminist, and a Writer - one who obsesses over the grand themes of love, memory and connection.

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