What does the body remember …

What does the body remember of another?

What memory sits at the tip of the tongue, ready to burst? Does desire constantly swim in the veins, little pieces of longing that warm the blood and rise to the surface at the slightest provocation? Do they reconstruct and orient the desire toward that which we cannot forget? Is remembering merely the act of desire trying to make itself whole again?

I miss your body. I miss how I made it mine. I miss the caught breath and the shifting weight. I miss the switch that flicked, the way your hands would suddenly tighten and pin me down.

I miss the safety of this certain surrender, the risks we took. The weeks apart, how time would build a tension in the muscle, a coiling of need that unravelled so beautifully on those nights we came back.

Sometimes a fast and furious unwinding, the release like a firework that explodes in the dark. At other times a slow and tremulous untying of knots, working into the early hours and seeing the sun come up on each other’s skin.

I never lost the craving, even when we were in our wars, all those battles finely played to lose. The body has always been the ultimate traitor, don’t you think?

Rock Bublitz at body, remember by Joanne Piechota
Image by Joanne Piechota

Published by Eidyia

I am only three things for sure - an Atheist, a Feminist, and a Writer - one who obsesses over the grand themes of love, memory and connection.

10 thoughts on “What does the body remember …

  1. Amazing but that’s nothing new. your writing affects me. It’s uncomfortable to read sometimes because it’s so true. You’re so talented

    1. I agree with what Lauren said. I realized the other day that your writing encompasses many of the same qualities that I love in Joan Didion’s writing. If you’ve never read anything of hers, you should read “Goodbye to All That” (an essay) if you ever get an opportunity. There is a raw honesty to your writing (and hers) that makes it uncomfortable to read and compelling all the while.

      1. Quite possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!!! I love her writing (I haven’t read that particular essay, will book it in for the weekend) xx

    2. Thank you Lauren; I mentioned to Sara on another post that I started writing because I had been looking for things that mirrored my experience, or at least held it up to the light. But most everything I found was harsh and one-note. I get why of course, but I wanted to say something about the beauty and depth of imperfect relationships, without ignoring the realities. Or something like that at least 😉

      Thank you again x

  2. I’m seeing why you thought “Body, remember” is an appropriate title for this blog. Fascinating thoughts here. As if the body isn’t me, exactly, but has such power over who I am — that sounds so obvious and trivial, said like that, but the way you write makes the idea live in a deep, compelling way.

    1. Hey there Theo – been thinking about you in fact. And yep, “body, remember” has always sort of led the story. I’m obsessed with memory and why we hold on to what we do … I’m glad it comes across xx

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